You Read What? Book Reviews: Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

I received this e-book from Netgalley with the permission of the publisher. I don’t receive anything for the reviews. Not even chocolate…

First off, make sure you get the spelling of Darling’s name right. I typed Tallulah into Google and got a girl band instead before realizing my sneaking fingers mistake. TELLULAH DARLING (with an E) is a professional screenwriter and her debut YA novel, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls, is set to come out October 17th, 2012.

(Picture of Author: Tellulah Darling)

Number of Pages: 244

Length of Time to Read Book: A day and a half












Simple is the word I’d use to describe this book which is great because it allows the title to do most of the work. I was immediately drawn to it and the synopsis had me in it’s clutches like a mouse being squeezed by a boa constrictor.


Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally’s alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship. This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.”


This is your typical Rom-Com/chick lit type book. So if you’re into Meg Cabot, this book is for you (with cruder language as a full disclosure). Basically, Guy is player. Girl gets dumped. Girl goes to Guy (who is her best friend) to become a playette. Sheets get tangled and so do emotions which results in a really funny read.


HILARIOUS! There were moments that had me spitting up water especially between Sam and Ally. Quotes from television and movies were re-purposed and made as memorable as the original quotes themselves (ie. She begins to chant. “One penis to rule them all, one penis to find them, one penis to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Ally mocking Sam. From the Lord of the Rings). Even the fight with the vibrators in the sex shop was amusing. This book was FUN-NY.


The characters aren’t exactly layered individuals which is fine since this is chick lit. However, the relationship between Ally and Sam is the one character that seems to grow throughout the book. I liked being in Sam’s head more than Ally because it was foreign to me and it was the uncensored mind of a teenage boy for crying out loud. Everyone was given their moment to shine in the comedy ring which was an added bonus.

Memorable or Forgettable: It’s hard to say. After one read, I’d place it under forgettable since it wasn’t the kind of book to grab me in an intense emotional headlock. With that being said, I will definitely re-read it (multiple times) for the jokes so I have to say at those ice breaker moments. So I guess I’ll deem this memorable for moi and potentially memorable for others.

I give this book 4 inappropriate remarks by Etienne out of 5.

Keep on reading,

A. A. Omer

The opinions expressed here are mine and readers are welcome to disagree. In fact, I encourage it! I never believed in putting particular books or authors on some sort of universal pedestal but you’re free to put it on your individualized pedestal because I most certainly will.

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